things i think about...

i changed a bit of my blog. i didn't like what it was. when i made it, i liked it, but now i don't, so i changed it. i'm also experimenting with avoiding the 'shift' key. i don't think i like that for blogging, but maybe i do. i like it for my title, for now, i guess. english abandons me.

i had the day off today. i spent it here, in front of this computer, hax0ring the baddies on counterstrike. i bought other games recently, to purge me from my addiction. that failed. i still play CS, and now i have less money than i did before. isn't that depressing. i have a fair bit of cash though. staying at home and doing nothing but working lets me save a fair chunk of change. that's encouraging. i have about 3k now. half of what i should have at the end of the summer, and we're about half way done the summer. so, that's alright i guess. i bought a digital camera, and some aforementioned computer games, but that's about it. hopefully there won't be another large expense this summer. then i can live in an apartment, with ben, and that'll be alright.






i took some pictures the other day, when i wasn't just sitting here. none that i'm specifically proud of. i'm not much of a photographer. i'm hoping that'll change. i did drop $400 on a camera. i'm pretty sure it's a good one.







my dad is in abbotsford area. doing stuff. maybe for work, maybe for school. i don't really know. i don't think it matters too much. he'll be back tomorrow, with my sister, and maybe her husband. laura and aaron. that'll be interesting. i guess. laura misses me. i don't miss her. is that bad? shrug.

i ate chicken and pasta for supper today. it was good. i wish i had more of it right now, but then again, i did just brush my teeth.

i got another email from a person who's email i lost. they want me to write an article for a mennonite christian magazine. i lost that email again. i don't know how, but i did. i guess it just wasn't meant to be. anyways, i tried writing the article a few times now, and it never works. it's just not legit, you know? the stupid article is supposed to be about 'a time in the younger years that inspired faith'. my mind goes all over the place on that. like, what the hell is faith in the first plcae? and they want just a 'moment' that inspired faith? like, when jesus came down to me next to my bed, shook me out of my sleep and said, 'hey, douche, believe in me or i'll make you impotent'? well, no. faith isn't born out of some miraculous magical moment in my 'younger years'. it was a decision that i've made, and will continue to make.

i just realized that sometimes i like to bold and italics things. i think i'll go back through this post and do that a bunch.

yeah.

that was fun.

i spent the entire day not wearing a shirt. that would, normally, make the day good. but today just hurt my head. too much computer screen, not enough daylight. but it was thundering here, so the light isn't my fault. i wouldn't have got any sun anywhere i was today.




i also spent the day with my hair tied back. i'm a dirty, dirty man.
i do like my facial hair though. makes me feel rugged. also, i hate shaving.




life in kelowna sorta just pisses me off. i don't really have any friends. i thought i had a few, but then they ditched me. seems to be the standard of what people do to me. maybe i deserve it. maybe i'm such an asshole that i simply drive them away. and here i am, thinking that all i want is someone to hangout with. sigh. so depressed.