Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Strengths/Weaknesses

There's always this question that pops into my head whenever it gets to this point in the year. It is the time of the year where I fill out scholarship/bursary applications, where I'm looking for work, and where I have to write out a number of times what I think my strengths and weaknesses are.

I want to tell them: I don't know. Ask the people around me. They know better than I do.

I want to tell them the truth. I want to tell them the things that nobody knows about me. They're asking, they deserve to know.

But I don't. I write about how awesome I am, and how well spent their money would be on me.

Maybe God can provide other ways, but so far my manipulations of this retarded system has gotten me a couple grand. So why stop now?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Isn't It Interesting...

Tonight a group of us went to our professor's house for refreshments and discussion on anything that might arise from our class discussion. I think if I was there an hour longer I would have started talking, but there was enough to fill the silence so I let it go by.

One of the most profound thoughts that I came across was the realization that in our post-modern world, this younger generation is desperately looking for some concrete answers. Our hearts are in the right place, I believe, help thou my unbelief, but we don't know truth in some of the immense "gray" areas. I guess to an extent we as Christians have to be content with not knowing, but that seems to be the answer to all of our questions these days.

Another thought was regarding the idea of mentorship, and how it ought to look. This could be in regards to vocational desires (pastoral, teaching, etc) or spiritual. Though sometimes I wonder how separated those two really are. I think we're not doing a bad job of raising up our children, but we're having a tough time raising up mentors to train those children once they're no longer children. We're also having difficulty teaching people to be teachers, and pastors. How can you learn to pastor unless you're given the chance to minister, to speak with the dying, to preach to the congregation? How can you learn to teach until you're given the chance to communicate?

The only solution we have right now is the idea that we have to create for ourselves our own learning environment. I think we're too used to being spoon fed exactly how we're supposed to learn, so that we are prepared. I'm just glad we're finally realizing that our education system is not fully preparing us for ministry, as scary of a thought as that may be.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Dirty Christianity

I recently began reading Stumbling Toward Faith, by Renee Altson. It scares me.

I'm terrified when I think of all the misuses of the name of God. I used to worry when I said "God Dammit" or "Jesus" under my breath that I was "using the Lord's name in vain". I've been known to use Jesus' name lightly, alluding to him being a close male friend who I've spooned with, or a pimp. I sometimes call him a self-righteous bastard, but that one's theologically correct so I think I won't be in purgatory as long as some people. I think a stronger violation of that particular commandment is when Renee was raped by her father while he recited the Lord's prayer. For some reason I think God is angrier when that happens.

I also get worried about the abuse of the church. There's story after story of her life how the church abandoned her when she needed help the most. The scary thing is, I can more closely identify with the institutions than I can with the author. Essentially, she was one rotten apple (no surprise) and as such, caused disturbances and distractions. It makes sense, democratically and financially, to remove the distractions so that the majority of students/church members could benefit.

I remember Jesus saying something about 1 in 100. I don't think he was joking, or exaggerating. I think we've cut our losses and gone home for the night.

Who have I injured without knowing? How many people have hidden pains, unthinkable pasts that I so callously ignore because it doesn't fit into my comfortable expectation of faith? Oh God, forgive me for my ignorant, life destroying actions that I thought were for the best.

I was wrong.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Dirty Jobs

The other day while watching our regular "Dolbert Show" combo (The Daily Show with Jon Stewart as well as The Colbert Report), some guy named Mike came onto the show. He's the host of a show called "Dirty Jobs". Essentially he goes around the country and works the dirtiest jobs, from sewer technician to chick sexer.

It makes me glad that I don't work.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007