The Titled Meaning

I question the grammatical veracity of my own title. Should it, perhaps, be "The Meaning of the Title"? Potentially, yes. I chose to ignore it. Ignorance, I have found, is truly blissful. Whoever said that first was definitely not wrong.

The title in question today, however, stems not from this post itself, but from the blog as it's entirity. "Quote GoAT" it reads, as I wrote awhile back. "Quote GoAT".

I am amused, for it rhymes.

How arrogant I must seem, to assume that you, dear reader, would find my work worthy of quoting. What I write, the title proclaims, is so dastardly awesome that you, the reader, will feel compelled to not only reveal the blog to another but in fact reveal verbatim exactly what I wrote. For it is only in these words, I assume, that the entirity of my message will be made clear.

Quotes are a fantastic thing. Often we take quotes from various writers and place them upon the soon discarded dust jacket of a well known hardcover book. These words, we say, will summarize the book for you. These words, we write, will intrigue your mind to the point where you are forced to purchase the book and read the remainder. Alongside these words we place other quotes of other, perhaps similar, well known writers to verify and recommend the contents. Sometimes we quote dead people, reducing their lives to fragmented sentances that reveal something profound about human nature, or life, or science, or love.

Here's a question I feel compelled to put forth. If a sentence can summarize a book, why bother writing the rest? Just write the one sentence, and publish that. Game, set, match. If the only thing you're going to be remembered for is a single sentence, why bother speaking after you've said it? And before you've said it, why are you talking? Shouldn't you be thinking of the sentence that will be attached to your name for eternity?

I think the only way we can find our quote is to spew such trash out that we have nothing left but gems. Or perhaps in the midst of your verbal vomit you'll find you coughed up a diamond ring or shiny topaz. How is one to test the quality of their quote unless they speak about it continually?

So, should I be that guy that quietly occassionally speaks deep profound truth? Or should I be that guy that speaks my mind fluently, unedited, without conscious.

Both.

In public, even a fool that stays silent will be considered wise. However, in the dark of my dorm with naught by the monitor glow illuminating my being, I will spew as much as necessary. And then, dear reader, once I am done, I will transmit the quality chuckies to you.

Blog Step No. 3: Pick a Theme

So, now that you have a rock awesome blog with a snazzy font, you gotta start typing stuff. If you're scared of what to type, just start. Sometimes, you'll do what I do, and hit a couple of key phrases that just spark a million other ideas in your head about what to type about. If you're new, do that. Like, I typed "you'll do what I do", which for some reason reminded me of a movie I watched a long time ago at a friend's house up in the hills outside of Kelowna. I think it was called "Doing That Thing You Do", which was a terrible choice for that evening. It was a long, very long movie, and we were young, very young, and the two clashed. I don't even think anything exploded.

It's one of those follow-the-band-through-their-ups-and-downs type of movie.. which, if you've seen one, you've seen them all. If you haven't seen any, then chose "Ray" because Jamie Lee Fox did a terrific job, and frankly, Ray is friggin' amazing at everything ever. Good music, good acting, and drugs and sex. What more could a man want from a movie, except a shorter version, of course, with more drugs and sex.

Right, so what you gotta do is pick a theme, so you won't ramble off topic like some psychotic killer who wants nothing more than a peanut butter sandwhich. Themes will get you where you want to go, which I hope is the top. If you want to go to the bottom, well then, don't even bother starting a blog, you're already there. And why are you reading my blog about writing blogs, you're making yourself the wiser (ha!) for it and that's no way to get to the bottom, you lazy slackin' ho. Nod.

The more you stick to your theme, the more likely people of similar mind will return to your blog for more and more of the sweet thematic goodness that your fingers ensue. Take http://veganlunchbox.blogspot.com/ for example. She writes about the food she makes for her kid each day for school. Vegan food. Poor kid'll never get bacon. Then she rates it depending on how much he'll actually force himself to eat. And she gets massive hits on her site. Women. Vegans. Sick.

Anyways, if you like hockey, write about hockey lots. Use the word "hockey" lots. That way, when people who want to read about hockey randomly search for "hockey", of all things, they will find your blog, which you recently wrote about hockey in. Right. And if you can pick a more specific theme to consistantly write about, the better. Like hockey skate laces. Review them, for all I care. You may just find there are 70 other hockey skate shoe lace fanatics out there that want to read about it.

Or, if you're like me, you'll just have random thoughts plop into your head, and because you're really not too concerned over who, if anyone, is ever going to read this, you'll just write random crap because it's giving you something to do other than that hoemwork you're supposed to be doing for this whole week.

Blog Step No. 1: Choose a Template

Now, one might first be considering why the second step is essentially the first, seeing as I posted step no. 2 before step no. 1. The reasoning being: you must first choose a font before you are able to see your chosen template. Having not yet seen the template, I could not comment upon choosing a template, as really, all I did was click once towards a seemingly suitable template.

I had to pause for a second there to change my font from "Times" to "Lucida Grande". The word grande reminds me of Starbucks, which disgusts me. Not Starbucks (they treat their employees real well), but that I'm reminded of it. I'm supposed to hate Starbucks (suprisingly enough, they actually do offer fair trade prices for their coffee beans, but don't force their laborers to purchase expensive fair trade liscencing, which can often put smaller coffee bean companies under, meaning more profit for both parties involved), though I don't really. I have too many friends that work there.

Anyways, there's one thing that a person ought to be concerned with when selecting a template. It must be rock awesome. If you, yourself, do not think that the template is rock awesome, then your future typed words will not also agree that your template is rock awesome. Let me tell you, my template is rock awesome.

Two reasons it's rock awesome. 1) It's simply green. Now, that may seem like a single point within itself, though slightly misleading. It's not only green, there's lots of white and grey and other shades of other colors that I can't remember at the moment. But yes, the dominant theme is green, as that is the color that draws focus. To my rock awesome blog. Alright. Saying alright reminds me of Mitch Hedberg, rest his stoned soul. Do you want a frozen banana? No, but I want a regular one later, so, yeah...

But alas! I purposefully mislead you! My point being "simply green" is two points within one! It's "simple", and it's "green". Green is good because of those I've spoken with, green looks good on me. Plus my mother likes it, and if my mother enjoys it, well then so be it! Let it be enjoyed! Simple is good because then it's not distracting. While perusing for various places to post particularly petite blogs, I found a number at various sites that were rather.. custom. They were red, or yellow, or pink, with icons and cursive letters (not language, thankfully) and whatnot. Pretty, I guess, but difficult to read and understand. If you want to build a group of gathers, you've got to get simple. And simply my layout/template is. Heck yes.

Point number 2, even though point number one was two, and post two is one, is ironic because it contradicts being simple.

Namely, that I didn't have to do a bloody thing to make it show up other than click and giggle. Which I did. With glee. I didn't have to worry about custom html (though I know it) to meticulously drag out specific aspects of my blog, even though most people probably will because they want to be different. I don't want to be different, because that's what everybody else is doing.

My favorite webcomic, the older stuff is better: www.pvponline.com

Blog Step No. 2: Chose a Font

The first choice when posting a blog is what font will I use. So, what font will I use? Decent question. I've always been partial to Arial, just because it's so smooth and round, like the way that a girl might shape her letters as she grows towards adolescence. Funny word, adolescence. I think I spelt it right. It looks all weird to me now. The problem with Arial is that it's not as easy to read as one might assume. It's the same problem when trying to decipher a letter from an ex-girlfriend, I would suppose. Is that a "u", or an "o"? They're both so flippin' round! Sans serif means without the little tickies on the end of each bloody letter, which for whatever psychological reason or another, means that it's harder for the eyes to read. Looking back over this paragraph, currently in Arial, I can understand that. It all just blends together. Let's see here...

Courier. That's old school. I don't think I want to be thought of as archaic.

Georgia makes me wonder the difference between it and Times New Romans.. are they're cousins or something? I can't see Georgia, which always reminds me of a state for some reason (is it? I'm Canadian, and bloody well ignorant), associating with Italy.

I flip back and forth between "Times", "Georgia" and "Lucida Grande". There's no difference. That confuses me. Don't tempt me with options, blogspot.com, and deny me the pleasure of my text visibly changing! Granted, they're easier on the eyes. Newspaper, you have trained me too well otherwise.

Trebuchet and Verdana (reminds me of a veranda) are similar to Arial. Simply varies in width and roundess. Like the difference between preteen girls, I suppose. Ouch, I'll pay for that one someday.

Finally I decide on Lucida Grande. Not because it's better or worse that Times or Georgia, but because it's exactly the same, but I've never chosen it before. Don't fail me now, blogspot.com. Offer me more than wingdings and pubescent poetics!

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