The Absurdity of it All

If you have the chance, and the stomach, I suggest watching "Dexter". I do believe it airs on HBO. It's a twisted, dark portrayal of a serial killer working as a blood splatter analysis for the Miami police. He only kills those that have "escaped justice". Meanwhile, he tries to live as a "normal" human being, though entirely incapable of emotion.

He does, however, "fake it" all the time.

The first few episdoes turned my stomach, but the more that I watch, the more I pick up on the things behind the crime scenes and seemingly inhumane murders. There's a touching subplot about what it means to be human, and how so many of us are always faking it. There's a lot about relationships, and what it takes to be in one. Can a person genuinely fake love?

My favorite moment thus far is when the hero of the story, just before he's about to kill a married couple who were running illegal immigrants as far as their dollar would get them (and then drowning them if they couldn't pay), stops to ask them their thoughts on love and relationships. "How long have you been married?" "How have you stayed in love" "A shared dream?"

And then, of course, he kills them.

And goes home to his girlfriend.

And shares his dream with her. To build intimacy. False intimacy, of course, but perceived intimacy nonetheless.

Twisted.

I like it.

Prayer

I find that God is silent only when I ask the wrong questions.

I Hear God Through Corporate Slogans

"You can do it, we can help"

Past, Present, and Future

Augustine is smart.

He argues that the past and the future do not exist, except for their reality in the present. Only the present exists.

The past exists only in memory within the present, and the future only exists in expectation within the present. The present is the only reality.

He also has thoughts on hell.

Apparently, "weeping" always refers to regret over the past, and "gnashing of teeth" is always linked with dread for the future. So in hell, where there will be only weeping and gnashing of teeth, your existence is utter separation from the present, and eternity is spent regretting the past and dreading the future.

Augustine is smart.

Corporations, Movie Quotes, and Bannanas

Did you know that there is a science of exploitation?

I got to watch a few bits of "The Corporation" tonight. Every time that I watch that film I get a little more angry. It frustrates me not that there are people out there that want to make money and own things; I can understand that.

What frustrates me is that we've created this ideal "American Dream" and its come to the point where the dream is beginning to own us.

I like when we watch movies like "The Matrix" or "I Robot" or even that episode of The Simpsons where their house tries to kill the whole family. It's been a classic question ever since we created the computer: how long before they rise against us and try to kill us? How long before our own creation turns against us?

What are the chances that it is already too late, and we just don't know it?

I'm not saying that your TV is going to pick up a knife and slit your throat, and I highly doubt that your clock radio purposefully "forgets" to go off at 8:30AM, though the possibility is not out of the question. I sincerely do not believe that we will one day have to EMP the entirity of the earth (if we still have control of the EMP, that is) just to rescue the human race from an onslaught of PCs (lets face it. Mac's are too cute to be evil).

A corporation is not a human being. A corporation is a legal structure. You cannot kill a corporation; just the people that own, operate, and are affected by them. A corporation is legally obligated to place the financial interests of their owners above competing interests - even over public good. A corporation cannot make an ethical or moral decision. It is not human. A corporation cannot kill itself; it has a responsibility to the stock holders.

We, as humankind, have already begun our own destruction. We have created a monstrosity that is destroying the earth, increasing poverty, decreasing healthcare, privatizing water, denying human rights, exploiting women, children, and the oppressed, and it has no way of stopping itself.

But hey, it's alright.

We have a solution.

Buy local produce. That'll show 'em.

TV Shows

I like TV. A lot. Probably more than I should. I've got a fair number of favorites, like The Office, Firefly, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Jeopardy, Heroes, Scrubs, House, and more (read: Grey's Anatomy, Beauty and the Geek, anything else I ought to be ashamed of).

So the Emmy's interested me. I didn't watch them (I don't have cable. ha.), but the results are available online. The one that surprised me the most was the winner for "Oustanding Comedy Series". 30 Rock won. I have to admit, I had never seen it before. But seriously, when you go up against the brilliance of Steve Carrell and BJ Novak, you've got to be good to win.

So when 30 Rock won, I assumed it was good. And then I watched two episodes. I'm less than impressed. Sure, there were some moments of genius (read: dancing and hot dogs), but overall it was pretty standard for a comedy series. Racial jokes, physical comedy, make a person feel awkward and "shock" the viewer. It's been done. And done better.

I wish that The Office won.

I also wish that Stephen Colbert won, as now we'll have to put up with his hatred of Jon Stewart (who did win) for another year. Seriously, just because he begs for an Emmy doesn't mean you shouldn't give him one.

Oh well.

Here's to another year of fantastic TV. Who else is going to get up early on Saturday to catch all the new cartoons? No? Let me introduce you to a little something called: SKUNK-FU? Saturday morning. 9AM. WB Network!!

Honesty... Honestly?

Moral dilemmas piss me off.

So after my PC a'ploded into a small smattering of fried electronics, I had to get a new computer. I ended up choosing to get an Apple (gasp!) iBook. I also ended up choosing a battery that was issued for recall, with the expectation that I would get a new one from Apple, for free, as per their battery exchange program.

Brilliant, I thought.

A free battery, I thought.

Well, I called and confirmed and haggled (as someone had already used my battery serial #) and got them to send me one. I waited a few days, and lo! There be a box for Alan! Egads, I exclaimed! I opened said box and thought, by golly, that it was a large box to hold a battery.

Inside, there was no battery. There was, instead, an envelope.

Within that envelope there was a static free plastic wrapper.

Inside that wrapper there was a MacBook logic board. Retail: $650.

So I debated. Should I sell it on eBay for $350? Should I take it to the MacStation and see what they'll give me for it? Should I buy a MacBook case and keep it? It was a brand new MacBook logic board. The box was addressed to me. It was, essentially, mine.

But was it?

A dilemma is, according to the dictionary, "a situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives." I had two choices: keep/sell the board, get money (which is needed), sell my soul. OR, call Apple, tell them what happened, see what they say.

So for a week I waited. And thought, and wondered. I waited for Apple to call and ask if I had received anything out of the ordinary. I priced out how much I could get for the logic board (anywhere from $250-600. One guy would've traded me for a mac mini, monitor, and eMac).

And today, I called Apple. I waited on the phone for 84 minutes, talked to a CSR and Product Specialist, and the only conclusion that they came to was: a) they want it back, and b) they don't know how I got it. So they're going to call me back. Whatever. We'll see where it goes from.

While I wish I would've got a couple hundred dollars out of the deal, I know that it was the "wrong thing to do". And that pisses me off.

Hell In A Handbasket

To "going to hell in a handbasket" is a phrase that essentially describes a situation going from bad to worse. The origins of this phrase are unclear, however, there have been documented phrases that are similar, such as "going to heaven in a wheelbarrow".

I want to go to heaven in a wheelbarrow. Someone push me!

Anyways, the last two weeks could be described as pretty hellish. I've basically disappointed most everyone that I know and love. That's always a good way to bring depression upon oneself. Other calamities include: my PC's motherboard, which I so dearly loved (see: 2006 blog posts), decided that I had punished her enough over the last three years and went to be with the Lord. The bunkbed that I had sitting in storage all summer refused to vanquish the bedbug infestation of April '06; thereby forcing me and my roommates to sleep on the floor for a couple of days. Also, my roommates eat my pickles, and by jolly that just ain't right.

Regardless, not all things are bad.

For the past number of years (read: 9) I've tried to be better at schoolwork. It is not that I'm poor at academics; far from it. What I do lack is the discipline to put my full effort into assignements. Ever since highschool I've been finishing homework at the last possible minute. I clearly remember sitting in the hallway, eating my kaiser bun sandwich, writing out the answers to my Chemistry questions, or throwing down a 500 word historical essay on the library computers in thirty minutes at lunch. Every year I'd promise myself that I'd do better this year.

Except, of course, grade 12, where David (best friend) and I actually decided that we'd slack off as much as possible and still graduate. Which we did. I took three classes and he did trades work.

Regardless, this trend continued through college. I'd wait until 11pm to start writing a 5 page paper, finish around 2:30AM, and hand it in the next morning. The very idea of "proof reading" was laughable.

Yet, things change.

I'm proud to announce that, this year, I've finished every assignment ahead of time. I'm "working ahead" in classes. I'm actually reading the books for book reviews! Sweet mercy hallelujah; praise Jesus himself I have been redeemed!

Well, so far anyways. It's only been one week, really. But, there's been so much other stuff occupying my time (see: paragraph 3) that I have no choice but to be studious. Oh, and losing my PC meant I got a laptop, and it's a MAC at that, and it's old, because I'm poor, so I suddenly don't have as much opportunity to watch: Heroes, The Daily Show, The colbert Report, that painter guy, all 9 seasons for Seinfield, friends, Scrubs, the Office, Chuck, Dexter, House, Grey's Anatomy, or a movie or two. Or thirty.

Pray for me. I'm practically starving for media, to the point where I'm downloading Vintage 242 podcasts to keep myself entertained.

The Blogging Life

Why do I blog?

I used to blog a lot. When I was working security at good ol' CBC, there ain't much else to do at 4:30AM but write about how much I like girls, kittens, and various inanimate objects. When you have no friends, it is easy to write about all your inmmost thoughts and feelings. When the people who affect your thoughts and feelings read your blog, you can get in trouble.

I don't blog much anymore. I haven't for about a year straight, maybe more. Last summer I wrote a bit because I was at home in Kelowna, where again, I had no friends. This past year at school I didn't blog, and this summer I didn't blog, for various reasons.

Yet I'm considering blogging again.

If you ever read "how to blog" on the internet, the first thing they'll tell you to do is find a theme and run with it. Surely someone out there desires to read about origami, or about what you make your child for lunch everday, or about the thoughts and ramblings of internet personalities. If I blog again, I will not have a theme.

I'm considering doing some sincere soul searching over the next eight months, and perhaps I will allow you to come on that journey with me. Perhaps I will not.

This post is not to say that I'm going to start blogging again. This post is to say that I'm going to consider it. You have been sufficently warned.